Why do we do, say, and pursue the things that we do? Society has normalized conformity, and social media has created a platform for encouraging individuals to live their lives continually, striving for the approval of others. Consequently, living to solely please God continues to become increasingly challenging in our world today.
Striving to please others and living to please God cannot co-exist. The former inhibits the latter from occurring. The seemingly rewarding feeling of seeking the approval of others soon leads us to root our entire worth and identity in what others think of us rather than in God, who created us. As we strive to please others, we lose sight of our individualism and become a clone of those around us.
With people pleasing, there is never an end in sight. Satisfaction and people-pleasing are, in a sense, antonymous. We will find ourselves in a continual cycle of suppressing our God-given convictions and desires, only to replace them with the constantly changing values and beliefs of the world, never truly being satisfied. Intentionally evaluating the intent behind our actions, speech and pursuits is beneficial to combat the pressure to please others.
Perhaps our definition of greatness and success has been shaped by culture rather than Christ.
Perhaps our speech and interactions with others are often rooted in a desire to feel the approval of others around us.
Perhaps seeking the approval of others before God has become a form of idolatry, allowing created things to have our hearts more than our creator.
Perhaps we are replacing the joy of rooting our complete identity in Christ with the fleeting promises and temporary pursuits of this word.
Perhaps we are failing to use our God-given strengths to serve others the way we were specifically designed to because we are desperately trying to merely be a clone of those around us.
Perhaps we are trying immensely to convince ourselves that we are not pleasing others, despite knowing in our hearts that we are striving for just that.
Perhaps we are ready to let go of the weight of pleasing others and intentionally live for Christ alone.
3 Practical Tips for Overcoming People pleasing:
1. Pray and ask God to help you overcome the pressure to please those around you and to live to bring glory to him alone.
2. Inform your feelings. Maybe it’s that temporary feeling of satisfaction and acceptance from others that drives you to continue to live for others. Inform your heart of the truth. Go back to the scriptures continually and remind yourself of the importance of placing your worth and identity in Christ alone. Reflecting on the following verses may serve as a beneficial reminder:
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10 NIV).”
“And he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised” (2 Corinthians 5:15).
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men” (Colossians 3:23).
3. Continually question your intent. After every conversation, every interaction, every major decision or pursuit- ask yourself, why? Why did I say, do or pursue that? Was it truly to bring glory to God, or was it to please those around me?
“For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s” (Romans 14:8).
